This is Why Texting is So Challenging.
A research study by Albert Mehrabian, a Psychology professor at the University of California, talks about what I have always believed: words without facial expressions, body gestures and vocal tones can't fully transmit the intended meaning. This limitation may be a critical reason why so many children, young and old, are feeling more despondent and alone. We humans tend to "understand" what a person is trying to tell us when we use all our senses at the same time. If you just read words without seeing body language or facial expressions, then the result is often a wrong interpretation. When this occurs, sometimes feelings are hurt, unnecessarily. We watch as our children try to figure out an intention of a text through minimum communication. It is difficult enough for the neuro uncomplicated person to try to quickly interpret and define what has been communicated, so where does this leave the neuro-diverse population?
Now, we are communicating with even less than words, emojis, which are meant to substitute for human contact. They are used to imply sarcasm, exaggeration, amusement and care, almost like a robot. This feels like the ultimate definition of what it means to survive in this age of technology. When you take away body language and substitute letters/icons to express feelings and wants, we are left with confusion.Take away body language and substitute letters/icons to express feelings and wants, then what do we have? Confusion.
Dr. Mehrabian looks at how people interpret others which includes: facial expressions when words are said and the tone of the way they are expressed. Both of these elements give additional meaning so the words themselves do not stand alone. Many times it's how you look when you say it, not what you say that influences how one is perceived. It's so interesting that studies show overall, we make our final decisions more on what we see than what we hear. If you have an argument on the phone with someone and it's purely words, you may lose your argument. Have the same argument in person, using body language to convey an "attitude" or "strong belief" and the outcome may be different. Words are used for conveying information, while body language is used for negotiating interpersonal information and attitude.
The key to reading body language is being able to understand a person's emotional condition while listening to what they are saying and noting the circumstances under which they are saying it. This allows for separation of fact from fiction and reality from fantasy. Texting are words that have no meaning without verbal expression and leaves it to the receiver to "interpret" what was read. I understand that Emoji's are supposed to define what the words are meant to convey. If our facial expressions and tone were limited to an artist’s imagination we wouldn't have to learn so much language growing up.
How can we help our children learn to interpret complicated conversations if they don't hear, see and feel it? Maybe just understanding the limitations of texting is a start. Before interpreting a text, try to imagine the possible ways the words could have been heard and seen before determining the meaning. While this pandemic is limiting our human interaction, there is a benefit to “video chatting” to improve communication as well. Something to consider...