7 Ways to Reduce the Long-term Effects of Covid Behavior

Over the past year, our children of all ages (and ourselves) have all been through so much, but how do we slowly unwind the set-backs and move forward? As a starting point, it is important to establish a baseline. I always recommend outlining ideas on a big whiteboard or easel-size sticky note board for yourself, first with columns of what “was” before and what “is" now about your child: what has improved, what has worsened, even surprised you, and what might have gotten better. There have been so many articles about what to do or ways of implementing strategies, but nothing will make sense unless you can see through a somewhat objective lens of who that “person” is that you have been living with.

Don’t forget to look at the most important learning goal we have for our child: developing resilience..do they have it or does that still need to be developed? Have you observed isolation, temper tantrums, trauma, anxiety, shame, and self doubt in your child when having to adjust to different demands?

In order to help bounce back from pandemic setbacks, parents can start fostering strategies once you have understood who your child is, rather than having a “consequence model.” Try some of these ideas to possibly meet the objective of normalized adolescent behavior:

• 1. Listen to how your kids are feeling and provide validation - even when you can’t solve a problem, it is helpful to let your kids know that you understand their emotions and for them to view you as an ally. Let them write their thoughts down with a marker on a board.

• 2. Adjust your expectations - don’t expect a quick emotional turnaround from your kids just because things are starting to improve. Be patient, together.

• 3. Make plans that are realistic - in order to avoid more disappointment from your children, schedule plans that most likely won’t be cancelled.

• 4. Start small on improvements - if your child suffered a few developmental setbacks this past year, don’t try to fix all of them at once. Identify 1 or 2 that need the most work and focus on those skills.

• 5. Talk, talk, talk - discuss the current news of the pandemic and the vaccine to help your children better understand the details. If talking doesn't work, then try drawing it visually.

• 6. Model coping skills - show your children how you cope with stressors whether it’s through exercise, deep breathing, music, talking or other calming activities.

• 7. Outline observations about YOU, the parent, and then work together to see how to find a middle ground - the child’s experience of you is just as important. Let your student evaluate something about you because kids really like to find something "wrong" with us too.

Recovery from this year of crises and change is a process for each person no matter what their age. But coming together as a unit and using a multi-sensory process to communicate the pros and cons continues to be much more effective than words only that are "one dimensional."