What To Do When Mastering Soft Skills Is . . . . HARD!
Defining Soft Skills for the World We Live in: GAPS
Its so often that we hear words like “soft skills”, “life skills”, and “adaptive skills, and more…..
These terms encompass those character traits and skills that characterize our relationships with others. They are often used in describing an individual’s emotional intelligence (EQ) as differentiated from a person’s intelligence quotient (IQ). They are sometimes referred to as “natural skills,” usually not taught in a classroom, traits such as self-motivation, creativity, adaptability, or reliability and include effective communication and interpersonal skills.
Yet, these character-oriented abilities play a valuable role in how we define and may find success in our life.
How, then, do we help our children, no matter their age, find and define these skills?
The skills that we want our family member to learn no matter their age are interpersonal cooperation, understanding about what is expected, and how to have a conversation with someone who doesn't "hear" or agree with them. It starts with us, of course, modeling the desired behaviors. However, it's when life becomes more demanding, and interaction becomes necessary with others, that some individuals develop overwhelm and subsequently withdraw. Communication, critical thinking, and a positive attitude are a small piece of what needs to be learned. We know that not everyone will have an innate, natural, or intuitive ability to develop these “soft skills” without guidance.
Those of us having peers and/or children who face challenges in this area, understand just how important these skills are to life as an adult. The earlier individuals begin learning "soft skills," the better those who lack a "natural inclination" can learn how to integrate them into everyday living. Learning these skills starts at home, but for children who need additional support there are qualified professionals who specialize in helping parents easily incorporate techniques and processes into everyday life in order to build confidence and competency. In addition to home based practice, there are also times the family member can attend social skill classes with age appropriate peer groups.
Having "soft skills” allows for a sound understanding of our own emotions and feelings as well as those of others, It also means knowing how to manage and communicate about our own emotions. Unfortunately soft skills and EQ are not easily learned by some individuals with inherent challenges in social thinking. These individuals are often misunderstood in social settings and this can impact their success in relationships personally, academically and professionally. Many will judge these individuals as "purposely" being insensitive, uncommunicative, and generally lacking a way to develop camaraderie with others, unless it is focused around their own interests.
Soft skills are assimilated through hands-on experiences with a focus on developing meta-cognitive skills.
They are not the by-product of book learning but rather, for most, about how they are able to practice relationship skills, unconsciously, subconsciously, and explicitly. While it is possible to find personal satisfaction and career success in a growing number of hands-on work environments that rely on an individual’s technical skills, research shows that those who can expand their soft skills are more likely to find more harmony in their lives.
Regardless of age, all individuals have the bandwidth to improve their skills and this will lead to a more interpersonal success and will support them in experiencing a well rounded life. Having the benefit of constructive feedback and outside perspectives can provide valuable insights and a skill development map. Creating and prioritizing a list of deficiencies and building and improvement plans can make a big difference in overcoming an individual’s blind spots. Like so many areas of self-improvement, coaching and practice can make a critical difference.
Navigating the myriad of available options to find and choose the most appropriate services can be overwhelming for families when seeking these supports for a loved one. The consultants at The Aspire Group have the clinical training and experience necessary to comprehensively interpret data and to assess individual strengths and challenges. We then use our first hand knowledge of schools, programs, and professional services to pinpoint opportunities for educational, social and emotional development that align with each client's unique needs. We have worked with clients of all ages and from all over the United States, and around the world. We are here to guide you as well in obtaining the most well suited and most supportive resources for your loved one.